Only a month to go!!

Well, we almost made it and guess what..I got a teaching job!!!! I really think that God has a plan and opens the door when the time is right. I could not be happier. I keep reading my posts from when I first started this blog and I am in a completely different place now. I have lost 65 lbs, got a teaching job, moved on the military base and just have an amazing life. The only thing to make it better would be to have my husband here. There is a part of our family missing and even with having it all..none of it matters without him. Deployments and time away bring us so much closer together and give us a chance to reconnect. Communication is key so I do not ever think that we will have a problem with keeping our communication open. I could not ask for a better husband (not that we don't fight) but he is just amazing and we help and motivate each other to be the best people that we can be. I am better with him. I love military life but they are already talking about deployment again but at least we will have a year together...anyway, I am going to have to write more later..time for baths and bed...

Wow..another two months down!

Well, I turn 30 next week and I am really starting to evaluate my life. I feel like I was in a better place at 25..and now I have taken about 10 steps backwards. Why do I feel that way?? Well, I want to make a list:
1. I am a substitute teacher and I was on the fast track to being an administrator. I went to school and put myself in student loan debt to sub??!!
2. I went from owning my home..(well I still own it) but now we are renting again. I hate renting! It is an added stress of really never settling in.

I will tell you that I went back to the blog I wrote about my new year's resolutions..I am taking better care of myself. I have started to see a therapist, I am now on medicine and I have lost about 35 lbs. I still have about 15 to go but I am feeling better about myself.

I have met some new friends and enjoy spending time with them however I feel like a piece of my life and I are missing..it is my husband.

About 6 weeks in..can I survive this??

I have to really evaluate my situation..do I really want to spend my life wishing it away until the next time that my husband comes home? I don't know if I can keep doing this. I am still subbing which absolutely sucks and a single mother. My kids are without their father and now he acts like I don't want to answer his messages. We really need to get on the same page soon or this is going to crush us. WE don't understand what each is going through and that makes it hard. On top of all of this no matter how hard I try, I really hate Alaska. I don't like the weather, their job opportunities or just the way everything is so much more expensive. I miss the beach and the sun and just the east coast to tell you the truth. I really don't have anymore to add right now. Something has to give or change or I will not survive this!!

ringing in the new year with a deployment part 2

So here it is...my new year's resolution. No, not anything unrealistic or some goal that is just going to sit there all year until I make another one next year.

1. To take better care of myself. I could stand to lose a few pounds but that is not what I am talking about. The weight will eventually come off with my continued exercise and healthy eating which I have been doing for a while now but what I mean is this: to let things go..I don't mean everything, I just mean the little things. Getting angry or upset over things I cannot control is pointless. To be less judgmental: I need to learn that just because people don't do things the way I would do it doesn't mean it is wrong. To be a little more observant (more of a listener, less of a talker): I am pretty good at reading people but sometimes I confide or trust in people a little too much and it has backfired.
2. To be a better mother: I love my children with all my heart. They make my day. I need more patience and strength when they don't exactly act they way I think they should. It is my job to teach them and help them be successful in life.
3. To be a better wife: My husband and I have been together going on 8 years in our relationship. We have spent at least 2 years of that apart from each other. This goes back to all the things I said in number one and two. I need to apply those things to my relationship as well as too my life.
Now this is going to take time and I am sure I will make some mistakes along the way but with me turning 30 in the next couple of months..it is just time.

Ringing in the new year with a deployment

I cannot believe the last time that I wrote was when my husband was at JROTC and gone for a month. Well, now he is gone again for a year. He left in December and we are only about a month in. I have thought about so many things while he has been gone. I never thought of myself as someone that is defined by a man..I mean I have my own career (even though I am just subbing right now) and I am very independent. I can go out with the girls and have a good time. I can create and keep a routine with my children as well as just spend some great quality time with them. Why am I saying all of this?? Well, I am trying to find this confident, independent woman!! I have never missed anybody this much in my life! I am a mess and cannot seem to get out of this! I am trying but it is just so hard. I do think however there are some factors that are adding to this depression:
1. I am hundreds miles away from friends and family
2. It is constantly snowing in Alaska! It has already snowed over 6 feet and it is only December
3. There are only about 5 to 6 hours of sunlight a day and it isn't even sunlight..it is dusk.
4. I have been off work for 2 weeks due to Christmas vacation

So with all of this going on, I just feel lost and like I am just going through the motions right now. I really can't be like that because of my children and just my overall well being.

Finally starting to see the light

Well, here it is! Another month has almost past and I am finally starting to adjust to this new life as a soldier's wife! Right now, my husband is away at training and surprisingly, I have lost 12 lbs! I guess all that running around with two kids is paying off. There are still things that I dislike about Alaska:

It is August, 50 degrees and it rains every single day!!!! I mean every single day!!!

Road Construction is everywhere and it takes twice as long to get anywhere

Other than that, I guess I don't have much to complain about. We had Vacation Bible School this week and it was amazing to get out and have somewhere to go. I have another teaching interview this week...fingers crossed that I get the position. It is right on base and everything would be right there. I am not getting my hopes up...I didn't get the last three positions I interviewed for.

I am finally starting to meet people and make friends. It is nice to be able to hang out and make it to the gym every once in a while but the kids really keep me busy. It is already 8 and it is my son's bedtime so I better go.

Well, it has been about a month since I written. I wanted to give myself time to adjust to my surroundings. I realize at this point I am just going to have to make the best of the situation and wait out my time until we get new orders. In the meantime, I have decided to do my yearly Lemonade diet cleanse...why do you ask?

First of all, I do not have any false hopes about this cleanse. While losing weight is a benefit, I do it to clear out my system and reboot my digestive system. This is the 4th time I am doing this cleanse so I know what the expectations are at this point. Every time I have done the cleanse, I have lost about 20 lbs and combined that with reasonable eating and lots of exercise and not only am I able to keep it off but I actually keep losing weight. I didn't get to do the cleanse last year around this time because I had my daughter who is now a year.

I have always struggled with weight and have been on every "diet" you can think of. So now I am going to log my progress during this 10 day process...hopefully I can make it that long. I usually get to about 7 days and quit but I am feeling confident that I can focus and achieve my goal.

Day 1

I actually started with a juice cleansing for the first day to ease my body into it. I didn't particularly like it because it gave me a headache and I ended up eating a salad for lunch and giving into a scoop of vanilla ice cream (that is my weakness..ice cream), that night I did the tea and the next morning started with my salt water flush.

Day 2

Nothing happened until about mid morning. I like the lemonade so much better and was able to make it through the day without any food. No headache and I was not hungry. I probably only drank about 6 glasses of the lemonade but drank 2 liters of water on top of that. Ended the day with my tea.

Day 3

Woke up early. I am feeling energized and this morning as soon as I did my flush...I almost instantly had a flush. I am having a little cramping but I can already tell a difference in my body. Now you may be asking yourself how the results are so instant. Well, right now I am flushing any retained water out of my system and with it, it is clearing out my colon. I have tried the colothin pills and other things to cleanse but I always come back to this.

*See my main problem is food. I have a sweets addiction. I love desserts and ice cream is just something I cannot give up.

I do well with everything else, we drink skim milk, eat whole wheat only including pasta and eat a lot of turkey and chicken, vegetables and fruit.

I also work out a lot but I have an addiction to sweets. I know there are substitutes to having dessert but it just isnt the same.

Well, I will write to let you know my progress and final results. I should be done with the cleanse by the middle of next week.