ringing in the new year with a deployment part 2

So here it is...my new year's resolution. No, not anything unrealistic or some goal that is just going to sit there all year until I make another one next year.

1. To take better care of myself. I could stand to lose a few pounds but that is not what I am talking about. The weight will eventually come off with my continued exercise and healthy eating which I have been doing for a while now but what I mean is this: to let things go..I don't mean everything, I just mean the little things. Getting angry or upset over things I cannot control is pointless. To be less judgmental: I need to learn that just because people don't do things the way I would do it doesn't mean it is wrong. To be a little more observant (more of a listener, less of a talker): I am pretty good at reading people but sometimes I confide or trust in people a little too much and it has backfired.
2. To be a better mother: I love my children with all my heart. They make my day. I need more patience and strength when they don't exactly act they way I think they should. It is my job to teach them and help them be successful in life.
3. To be a better wife: My husband and I have been together going on 8 years in our relationship. We have spent at least 2 years of that apart from each other. This goes back to all the things I said in number one and two. I need to apply those things to my relationship as well as too my life.
Now this is going to take time and I am sure I will make some mistakes along the way but with me turning 30 in the next couple of months..it is just time.

Ringing in the new year with a deployment

I cannot believe the last time that I wrote was when my husband was at JROTC and gone for a month. Well, now he is gone again for a year. He left in December and we are only about a month in. I have thought about so many things while he has been gone. I never thought of myself as someone that is defined by a man..I mean I have my own career (even though I am just subbing right now) and I am very independent. I can go out with the girls and have a good time. I can create and keep a routine with my children as well as just spend some great quality time with them. Why am I saying all of this?? Well, I am trying to find this confident, independent woman!! I have never missed anybody this much in my life! I am a mess and cannot seem to get out of this! I am trying but it is just so hard. I do think however there are some factors that are adding to this depression:
1. I am hundreds miles away from friends and family
2. It is constantly snowing in Alaska! It has already snowed over 6 feet and it is only December
3. There are only about 5 to 6 hours of sunlight a day and it isn't even sunlight..it is dusk.
4. I have been off work for 2 weeks due to Christmas vacation

So with all of this going on, I just feel lost and like I am just going through the motions right now. I really can't be like that because of my children and just my overall well being.